“I just wonder if things are ever going to get any better. I am so tired of struggling. I feel like I’m stuck in mud. And as soon as I get free and start thriving, and then everything crashes, like F@ck and I’m pulled back, and I’m scared to try again this time.”

I love all the shares that you have been giving me recently. And this amazing, lovely, beautiful woman asked me this, “I just wonder if things are ever going to get any better. I am so tired of struggling. I feel like I’m stuck in mud. And as soon as I get free and start thriving, and then everything crashes, like F@ck and I’m pulled back, and I’m scared to try again this time.”

Here’s how I answered this

Now, I’ve been there, and I genuinely have been there because I remember saying to my husband, and other people, “I am scared to say that I’m happy.” I remember feeling happy I went to a festival, I came back and then I lost this cat that was like a baby to me. I did my Reiki training and then lost other stuff. And it was this thing of every time I felt I was making good positive steps forward in my life, and that I actually uttered the words, “I feel happy, then everything went t1ts up.

So I do understand when I say I understand that Feeling of “Well, I don’t want to try and make things better. Because if I make things better than things are going to turn bad, and what’s going on with all of that?”

And there might be people that will say you’re self sabotaging and you’re doing this and the other but what’s actually happening I think is that it’s life’s become a bit black and white, there’s not much middle ground and the grey and the there’s a lot of feeling that you’re either saying that things are great or things are bad.

So one solution is a really easy, simple practice to do. Yet to actually do it, it can feel really challenging. And, you know, I’m gonna say this, but doing gratitude and not do not just platitude gratitudes where you’re like, “I am grateful for this today”but the ones which make your heart feel something. If there’s resistance it may be perfect for you.

And you need to retrain that gorgeous brain and know try this every single day.

Know that it is safe for you to acknowledge the tiny wins the tiny things that you are grateful for the tiny things that have happened;

  • the person who smiled at you,
  • the person that liked your post,
  • the person who’s answering your video,

…the little things, because what it does, and you know what it’s in my show you this now is in my fear back to love journal. And we’ve just worked through this in my online Goddess Gathering group which a few of my clients and I do together and we’ll be we’ll be coming back around to it.

This came to me in the middle of the night, just ages go by fearing Okay, let me backtrack, every dot is a day, okay? This dot is when something big can happens. Fear is making every day feel that little bit more sh1t.

Because that’s what fear does is it kind of goes “Oh, I’m gonna make it so that we’re anticipating things” and then “it”happens and then you still feel really bad.

If we can get it to a stage where we reset your fear profile so that basically every single day is viewed with a little bit more compassion with a little bit more kindness for everything that you are already doing – because my god you’re trying – the very fact you’re saying this in your original comment where you said you are trying you’re scared to try again – it’s just fear, it’s fear that stopping you and we can we can manage fear. That’s what all of this has been on in my Thursdsy meeting group is on is working through and getting rid of fear.

But here’s what happens is if you are taking this fear into everyday worrying what’s going to happen when that big red dot does happen. There’s so much confusion around it and extra fears and all the other things all those thoughts you’re thinking about. You go through every single scenario in your mind that may or may not ever happen and fear as Will Smith said it very nicely in I Am Legend, Fear is not real. It is based purely on something that may or may not ever happen. But if we can get it so that the fear everyday is reduced than when something big happens, you’ve got more clarity and you’re able to see the bits you need to go for and the bits you need to work on better. That’s a really abridged version of that and I’m more than happy to explore it with you further.

But the way the way to trust that things are going to get better is to get into the habit of being grateful for the tiny things that you do, and your impact on the world, because you do more than you know, you asking me that question struck my heart, and made me think, oh my god, I’m doing the right thing here. This is exactly the kind of work I meant to be doing, because I know I can help people like her. Okay. And I get that fear to try again.

And that’s why you need people around you that you can really get the support from and the love from, to really feel connected, as well. And I will gladly be that person for you. Just reach out, okay. Because, for me, I used to honestly, I lived, I worried what if and I’m sure you do this, too. I have worried if I wasn’t worrying. That’s the other thing. Your brain sometimes says “I’m not worrying about anything, what’s wrong, what’s going to happen?

But also you will get to a point where actually you have no choice but to go. But this universe, I surrender, there’s nothing else I can do. So over to you, I command you to step in, and show me the next best step because I can’t do this anymore. So I would be inclined to ask for a sign. And to say to the angels, “do you know what I need you to come in and help me on this one now. I need you to show me” – or God or whatever or whoever you believe in – To just go, “I need your help, to feel safe to feel happy and to feel successful”. And then there be some conditioning that you’ve heard probably from your childhood or past lives even. Because we do drag this back and again that stuff we can clear with the SRT work I do or point you in the direction of other people because I’m not trying to answer your question here. I’m not trying to flog me stuff.

Now to break it down a bit. You said “things” What are things, the things you’re talking about? explore those what things? What specific things do you want to have get better, write them down? The situation’s what you and then write what then getting better would look like for you. So wonder if things are gonna get any better. So you write down the thing and you write down what it looks like when it’s better. Don’t write the negative, just be like, okay, so if it’s with work, this is what it looks like If it’s better…My dream thing you would be this…

You’re tired of struggling, then stop. quicksand. The more you struggle, the worse it gets. Stop. You feel like you’re stuck in mud. And as soon as you get free and start thriving, everything crashes and you’re pulled back. What is pulling you back?

Who is pulling you back?

Are you stepping back?

Are you falling back?

Are you being dragged back?

Is it old patterns? Is it old thought processes?

And you’re scared to try again this time? Where are you now? Right now as you watch this video?

Are you stuck in the mud? Where are you? You know, are you halfway out? Are you?

Are you like fully up to here? Are you just your feet in? Or are you just looking at that puddle thing and not going near that?

Or are you in a cave hiding because you’re too scared to get out there and do anything, which I totally understand because I promise you I’ve been there. I have a really, really, really, really have and I know that you need the support to get out. And that’s what I’m hoping this video does. I’m hoping this is just giving you a few aha moments that are really going to help you with this.

So like I said in my post, thank you for your honesty and sharing I hope I’ve given you some snippets that are going to help send me a message if you need anything and if you want to explore something further and we can work through it. Okay, you’ll know who you are.

Is now the time for you to feel a part of a sisterhood and get the support you need like working through these questions with an amazing group? Join us.

Categories: Fear Release Self-Confidence

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How do I love me?

How do you love yourself? Isn’t it the age old question?

We all struggle to really love ourselves at some point in our lives.


How do I love myself? Well, that’s a hard one. Because it’s a, it’s a journey. It really is. And, by that, you have to look at all those bits that you’re too scared to look at.


And I suggest, if you’re going to do this kind of work, that you do it with a group of people, I’ve got a group of that, that we work through all of my journal exercises, one by one to, to kind of get to this. And there are some really good exercises, certainly in the unicorn journal about finding those things that make you unique, because I’ve spent years helping people find that thing that they don’t see in themselves.

And just from one conversation, I will talk to people and say, “You know what, actually, this is what you do, that’s really different. Nobody else does that. And you’ve got this than the way that you speak and this and the way that you put yourself forward.” And I’ve got a knack for bringing that out in people.

Here’s what I suggest:

And so what I would first off encourage you to do is talk to other people and ask them, and oh my god, it takes guts, it really takes guts, but you have to ask people what they think of you. And there are ways to do that. And reach out to me if you want me to take you through like an exercise on how to do that. Because it’s, it’s, it’s something that you can do really effectively. Go on Facebook, say, Okay, tell me three things that you like about me, and I’ll do the same. And I’ll give you three things back.

And then I’ve got a really good idea to do with the three things that they give you, which helps you as more of a ritualistic thing, but I don’t have time to go into the details of that today.

But in order to love you, you have to accept or less aspects of you that in every given moment, you are perfect. Right as you are right now, like me, roots need done grey hairs, jumper look like I’ve hardly slept, haven’t been able to use creams for months, because my face has been a nightmare. But you know what, in here, I actually do finally love and accept who I am for all of my foibles. And, you know, the biggest thing for me has been talking to other people about so much different stuff.

So like, I’ve been the person who are I’ll talk to strangers and feel oh my god, I’ve just told them my life story, or I’ll go on a train, and I’ll have the person tell me their life story, or I’ll overshare with a complete stranger. Or sometimes, the old me would have been like, oh, I shouldn’t have complimented that person. She wasn’t comfortable with it. I complimented somebody yesterday on their food, I was like, Oh my God, this food is beautiful. And like those just food. And they really weren’t comfortable. But to me, it was like a beautiful rainbow for the eyes. I explore more about setting boundaries, having awareness and confidence in other relationships in my ABC journal which you can get here, but we’re also about to start working through this in my supportive online group! So don’t miss it.

But it’s only by talking with other people, that you will understand that these things you think are your flaws. Every other woman usually women in the world, even guys actually not true guys feel this to every other person in the world has the same thoughts. And we’re all at a different level of our healing journey. And that’s again, why talking to other people, you will get to pull in the different levels of expertise. And if you get your tribe if you’re really good at building your tribe, and by tribe, I mean, people that you can love and trust and feel safe with and just have that safe space. Then you can explore all of those things. And the problem is if you’re one of these people like I have been in the past that doesn’t reach out.

I’ve recently been through something pretty traumatic. And actually I’ve reached out to all of my friends that I consider dear friends and I just went this is going on I’m going to need your support. And I’ve just seen for for for again, for for for Angel numbers. I’m on the right path for the confirmation from the angels that they’re with me going through this is amazing.

The answer to the question of how do you love you, you’ve got to forgive yourself. First, there’ll be things that you feel guilty for. And my friend used to say guilt is a bag of bricks, put it down. And there’s a whole exercise I’ve written in one of my journals to go through that, and how to take the guilt and the stuff that you felt bad for, and turn it into something positive, and for not hanging on to all the things that you think you’ve done wrong, or that make you any less than perfect, or whole. And social media is SHIT for giving you that pressure, being like, Oh, here’s my perfect filtered face. And this is what you meant. And this is why I don’t kind of care I come on and I get my mum was saying go to her looked mess on that video, I don’t care. Because I just need to get the message across, right?

So how you love YOU, is a very big topic, with a lot of little compartments that actually you just work on snippets at a time and over time, you will build this better respect and love for yourself.

It’s about setting good boundaries with people being able to say no

Surrounding yourself with the people who you love, and who make you feel good. And those people that support you, regardless of whether you’re up here or you’re down there. I’ve got some amazing friends that I’ve never met in person that I’ve met online that I can do this with.

And it’s about just really acknowledging and appreciating who you are right now and loving that person because she’s flippin awesome. He’s awesome.

We are all human, you never get to see the the truth of somebody, you only ever get to see the bit that they present to the world. So they might look like they’ve got their you-know-what together when actually they haven’t.

And the great thing? you have got the power to decide how you put yourself out to the world. And I think it’s important that you, you learn that you’re your harshest critic, that inner voice that you’ve got is usually a combination of parents, teachers, people who’ve pissed you off in the past or that you’ve pissed off in the past. So that inner negative voice and that mind chatter is usually somebody or something that has been critical of you in the past. Is that you? Is that your voice?

And again, the work I do with people is helping them to defrag all that and actually work out what it is. There’s their voice and getting that and grabbing it and bringing it out.

So I love the fact that you’ve asked me that question. And I hope that this goes some way towards answering that for you. And I’m gonna tag the original person in this post but just keep asking me questions, guys. I love it. I love being made to think of the answers because these are all questions that I’ve asked myself and I still have blips don’t get me wrong, I definitely still have Blips. But, you know, as the back to love goddess guide. I’m here to help you guys and girls, get back to that place where you fully love and accept who you are. Because I promise you, there are more people in the world who believe in you and see you as something amazing. And then there are people who don’t. You are loved. You are appreciated. There is somebody out there who has remembered one compliment you gave them for the rest of their flippin life. You are changing their life positively every day and yet you won’t be aware of that.

But now I’ve said that feel it in your heart because you will be able to feel it because we’re all connected to source.

Feel it and know it to be true. If you don’t then get on my live course and join my amazing group of people working through all this and more.

Lots of love

Categories: Self-Confidence

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What could life tell you to help you

I asked the question,

“If you could ask one question about you or your life to help you feel better about yourself, what would it be?”

And someone answered

Life?

Well…I promised a video to explain my answer to this and here it is!


Hey, as promised, I’m answering the question that you guys were asking me now, I asked you, if you could ask one question about your life or you to help you feel better about yourself. What would it be?

Now, my dear friend, Sam, Grant answered life, question mark. And she’s like, oh, sorry, I know, that’s not very helpful. But actually, I get it. And I think I get it.

So let’s try to explain and kind of give my answer.

So if you could ask one question about you or your life to help you feel better about yourself, what would it be?

So she said “life.”

This suggests to me the following:

She’s not quite sure what life is feeling like at the moment, there’s a bit of a sense of overwhelm, there’s a bit too much going on. Um, a lot going on that.

Perhaps she’s not able to see the clarity, she doesn’t feel that she’s got yet the parts of her life in order that she wants. She’s like life what, but also its life question might life what is going on. And that’s, that’s kind of what I’m drawing from this. And this is quite a difficult one to start on.

There are some others and I, I love the fact that some of you throw me complete curveballs. And some of you have answered the question. And some of you have come in from a positive mindset. And we’ll be doing other videos about this. But if you could ask one question about you or your life to help feel better about yourself, what would it be life life? Give me the answers, show me the way give me directions, show me the signs, give me the things to look out for.

So Sam, my darling, amazing friend, and I’m going to be seeing you at the weekend. And we’ll talk about it further. But remember, to give yourself some time to breathe. I know you’re a mum, you’re also amazing Sam, your wife, your all those other roles with sometimes just need those moments to be you. And I think for you, that’s what will give you that space and those answers to flooding because it’s when you stop that you allow things to then pop through and come in as you know.

So yeah, I think if you’re feeling hectic and like there’s so much going on that is like life because it could also be read life, what life depending on your interpretation.

And I know I I feel I feel I know that you scuze me, I feel I know that you are asking all of those things like life, work life, come on life, give me the answers, all of those.

And so what you’re saying is I need to have some direction I need to have some clues. I’m on the right path. I just need some confirmation. I need to have that validation. And you know that life is going to start showing you that too.

So I hope that helps answer that one for you my darling and love you loads.

Categories: Self-Confidence

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What is rejection and how to cope with it

Recently I’ve had a few experiences where I could say I’ve felt rejected.

And bugger me that’s a massive minefield of complex 💩 to unlock… look here’s what I mean… and yes I want to empower you but I want you to see what I went through… because I know when I share the truth of my processing of stuff, it helps most.

So what is rejection?

It’s feeling unloved, ❤️‍🩹 unimportant, less than… and is always based on some kind of relationship.

We say we feel rejected by someone…

We could be positive and say if we are truly confident then we can’t feel rejected because we know how awesome we are…

Ok… maybe a bit… but what about the sadness? The feeling that you get? 😔😢

If it’s not sadness and you truly think you’re 100% awesome then you’ll possibly be bloody angry instead. 🤬😤😡😖

I know I go all typical cancerian with my claws out when this happens. 🦀

Is it the realisation that you’re not thought of as highly as you hoped?

Does that – yeah let’s call it a realisation – make you feel like you can’t trust your own judgment?

Is it you’ve let yourself down in your own eyes? Been less than… done wrong? Feel like you’ve f*cked up?

Then, the other part of the Cancerian in me wants to hide in my shell 🐚 and sod the world… 🌍

Then you’ll tell friends 💬 to get them to validate your feelings of sadness, anger… projecting that stuff, amplifying it:

there then may even be guilt, and as a spiritual person 😇 you might feel like you’ve done wrong again and perpetuated the situation 🙈 but in reality you probably just feel like actually you were asking for a reality check by sharing it with other people.

And a confidence boost, reassurance that you’re worthy of the attention or love you deserve. 😘😍🥰💕

These people are your tribe: 🙌 they help you to feel strong and to feel like you’re loved.

They are your support network and help you navigate how to set boundaries so you don’t suffer rejection.

And it’s this kind of stuff that inspired me to create my journal Awareness, Boundaries and Confidence- 7 Steps to Better Relationships because I’ve done so much flipping navel gazing and got so much help and support from some amazing people that I wanted to share it with you. https://backtolove.life/product/awareness-boundaries-confidence/

Everyone is worthy of love. If you feel rejected it’s not you, I promise it’s not.

It’s circumstance.

It is the other person being in a bad place, and you never know why or what sh*t they’re going through and perhaps it’s a lack of connection that you may not be able to ever bridge.

Maybe you just don’t get each other.

But remember that tribe that DO know and support you. (And in my journals and groups I take you through how to build that).

But it’s not your fault.

Share this please because others need it.

Categories: Uncategorised

Why do I run groups? Sisterhood groups, confidence groups… because I’m selfish and I like how it makes me feel…well that and…

I know I can guide people on moving from WORRIER to WARRIOR through sharing my own experiences, as well as encouraging people to find their inner confidence.

I love connecting people.

I don’t want anyone to feel isolated in opening up and exploring their uniqueness.

Everyone has mental health. It’s just health of the mind. Sometimes we’re sick, sometimes we’re well, sometimes an element of us hurts (like a sore finger).

We need to end the stigma of asking for support. So join a group and accept it’s a given. The support is there for you.

In the past, I have struggled and felt alone and now I don’t. I know I add to the group I run, and they add to me more than they know. So you get to make me feel better too if you join.

I see the entire team thriving, but being honest about how they feel. I feel supported, loved and accepted for being me.

How cool is all of that?

Time for you to join me, pay every week at ÂŁ6 or ÂŁ24 for a month and watch it change your life.

Join Now

Categories: Uncategorised

Why you should tell someone your dreams (and listen to theirs)

Normally you wait to get to know someone before you tell them your dreams, but recently on a course with the Moray Wellbeing Hub I was tasked with a peer exercise to tell someone my dreams, something I’ve always wanted to do and then to have them recall what I’d said and tell the rest of the group my dreams. I did the same with them. so what did I learn?

Well firstly, when you hear people share their dreams it reminds you that anything is possible.

You can see other people light up when they talk about their passions and you realise this is what you must do too when you talk about yours.  I felt excited for them, really seeing what they want to achieve and watching them light up is amazing, it makes you feel a part of something too, and trusted. 

So not only do THEY feel good, but you get the warm and fuzzy feelings too.

NOW TELL THEM YOUR DREAM and ask them to recount it for you.

What? why?

well, hearing other people talk about YOUR dreams and recount them to you makes them feel very tangible, achievable and real and in a peer to peer setting we could all see how actually, we’re already well on the way to living our dreams, because of the work we’re choosing to do. 

The natural response of anyone who is caring and into supporting others is to encourage others.

Let them see what you’re already doing because they may say “you’re already doing xyz towards that” and that feels absolutely flipping amazing.

Sharing your dreams ands doing this exercise enables us to share our experiences if we’ve been through it and managed to come out the other side to share our experiences and further encourage one another that it’s entirely possible. This empowers people further. So DO IT and TRY it.

It also puts in your order to the Universe – it cannot help you if it doesn’t know what you want…or at least vaguely where you want to go.

If you haven’t a clue where to start, join my BackToLove live group, we meet every Thursday and we will be covering this and SO many other amazing healing topics, and it’s such an amazing supportive group.

Categories: Uncategorised

Things are going to be ok

Better than ok. Brilliant, wonderful. Wanna know why? Because you’re reading this and taking accountability for your life.

You’re doing exactly what’s needed right now… taking on information and planning.

There’s new things on the horizon

I have been through the most intense healing period of my life, right before I was running workshops and right before I had to be in front of people and leading women in an amazing sisterhood group I run. you can join it here

And I did it. It forced me to realise that I am so much more than my circumstances and I had to push through and just hope I got to that stage where I felt strong again. I managed this, I’m starting to feel like me again, but also planning lots more for the future.

And my old tendencies of impatience are spreading again… they want me to do everything now… but now is the time for plans. I have to remind myself that things have to have a firm foundation before I can build on them.

I must manage my own expectations and ensure what I do is honed completely. Why? Because I owe it to myself to pace myself. And to not act out of panic or need.

I have to tidy my physical work space. I have to manage my own thoughts about letting go of what I don’t love. I have to… but do I?

Do I have to?

Is HAVE to another pressure word? Another way for me to beat myself up? Yes. Yes it is.

But I feel something driving me foreword, if it’s impatience then the “have to” feels stressful: if it’s not that but something more primal, a need to move forward with these things because they’re my soul purpose and there’s no escaping them, well then maybe that’s different.

But even that feels negative doesn’t it? No escape… I mean it in the way that some things are inevitable.

And when we get close to fulfilling our life purpose that’s part of the whole thing that we are drawn to do stuff and also want to do stuff too.

If it’s not an exciting prospect then it’s likely not in line with your soul purpose. But don’t let your initial reaction be all that there is. I have taken on a role I thought would be a bit weird for me at first but then I was reminded that I used to love the kind of work I’m doing. I was a lot younger and didn’t have the aches and pains I have now but I loved interacting with people and I can love it again. I will love it again. I love me and I love my ability to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. It drives me forward. It keeps me balanced whilst I explore my creativity and all that I love.

Things are looking up for me, I hope you start to see things looking up for you too!

Categories: Uncategorised

When You’re Present You See SO MUCH More

This new moon in Aries is all about STOPPING AND PLANNING. You see the thing is if you’re so busy DOing and not BEing you’ll miss things. Take yesterday as an example, I went for a walk with my little Aragorn (superstar kid not biased at all) and he wanted to change direction. As I turned around I saw an amazing fluffy white feather and picked it up, told him it was from his angel and popped it in his pocket.

It either wasn’t there before or I didn’t notice as we were walking looking at the mountain.

And that’s about how life is. You have to stop long enough to allow yourself to SEE the options available to you.

So if you’re in a job which sucks your energy, working all the hours god sends, you’re not going to see a way out or other options as you’re not leaving ANY quiet space. And that’s really all being present is about – just stopping long enough to allow your brain to catch up with everything, to allow yourself the time to tune into your soul and you heart’s desires and to relax enough to see that there ARE other things you can do with your time and energy.

My weekly gathering online gives everyone the space to find time for themselves, even people who have said “I can’t I’ve got so much to do, I am so maxed out with work and crap I don’t have the time for me or anyone else I love…” attend one class then say “I HAVE TO MAKE TIME FOR THIS IT FUELS MY SOUL!” so join us. It’s an aweseom Sisterhood.

Categories: Uncategorised

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Don’t lop off your branches because you’re frustrated

At this time of year (February) it’s easy to feel disheartened and want to break forward into spring. It feels like we should be making massive changes and lopping off branches when we want to make progress.

Listen to this video whilst looking at the beautiful nature inspired artwork and reframe that thinking so you feel happier going at the right pace for you right now.

Categories: Uncategorised