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Tag: #explore

“I just wonder if things are ever going to get any better. I am so tired of struggling. I feel like I’m stuck in mud. And as soon as I get free and start thriving, and then everything crashes, like F@ck and I’m pulled back, and I’m scared to try again this time.”

I love all the shares that you have been giving me recently. And this amazing, lovely, beautiful woman asked me this, “I just wonder if things are ever going to get any better. I am so tired of struggling. I feel like I’m stuck in mud. And as soon as I get free and start thriving, and then everything crashes, like F@ck and I’m pulled back, and I’m scared to try again this time.”

Here’s how I answered this

Now, I’ve been there, and I genuinely have been there because I remember saying to my husband, and other people, “I am scared to say that I’m happy.” I remember feeling happy I went to a festival, I came back and then I lost this cat that was like a baby to me. I did my Reiki training and then lost other stuff. And it was this thing of every time I felt I was making good positive steps forward in my life, and that I actually uttered the words, “I feel happy, then everything went t1ts up.

So I do understand when I say I understand that Feeling of “Well, I don’t want to try and make things better. Because if I make things better than things are going to turn bad, and what’s going on with all of that?”

And there might be people that will say you’re self sabotaging and you’re doing this and the other but what’s actually happening I think is that it’s life’s become a bit black and white, there’s not much middle ground and the grey and the there’s a lot of feeling that you’re either saying that things are great or things are bad.

So one solution is a really easy, simple practice to do. Yet to actually do it, it can feel really challenging. And, you know, I’m gonna say this, but doing gratitude and not do not just platitude gratitudes where you’re like, “I am grateful for this today”but the ones which make your heart feel something. If there’s resistance it may be perfect for you.

And you need to retrain that gorgeous brain and know try this every single day.

Know that it is safe for you to acknowledge the tiny wins the tiny things that you are grateful for the tiny things that have happened;

  • the person who smiled at you,
  • the person that liked your post,
  • the person who’s answering your video,

…the little things, because what it does, and you know what it’s in my show you this now is in my fear back to love journal. And we’ve just worked through this in my online Goddess Gathering group which a few of my clients and I do together and we’ll be we’ll be coming back around to it.

This came to me in the middle of the night, just ages go by fearing Okay, let me backtrack, every dot is a day, okay? This dot is when something big can happens. Fear is making every day feel that little bit more sh1t.

Because that’s what fear does is it kind of goes “Oh, I’m gonna make it so that we’re anticipating things” and then “it”happens and then you still feel really bad.

If we can get it to a stage where we reset your fear profile so that basically every single day is viewed with a little bit more compassion with a little bit more kindness for everything that you are already doing – because my god you’re trying – the very fact you’re saying this in your original comment where you said you are trying you’re scared to try again – it’s just fear, it’s fear that stopping you and we can we can manage fear. That’s what all of this has been on in my Thursdsy meeting group is on is working through and getting rid of fear.

But here’s what happens is if you are taking this fear into everyday worrying what’s going to happen when that big red dot does happen. There’s so much confusion around it and extra fears and all the other things all those thoughts you’re thinking about. You go through every single scenario in your mind that may or may not ever happen and fear as Will Smith said it very nicely in I Am Legend, Fear is not real. It is based purely on something that may or may not ever happen. But if we can get it so that the fear everyday is reduced than when something big happens, you’ve got more clarity and you’re able to see the bits you need to go for and the bits you need to work on better. That’s a really abridged version of that and I’m more than happy to explore it with you further.

But the way the way to trust that things are going to get better is to get into the habit of being grateful for the tiny things that you do, and your impact on the world, because you do more than you know, you asking me that question struck my heart, and made me think, oh my god, I’m doing the right thing here. This is exactly the kind of work I meant to be doing, because I know I can help people like her. Okay. And I get that fear to try again.

And that’s why you need people around you that you can really get the support from and the love from, to really feel connected, as well. And I will gladly be that person for you. Just reach out, okay. Because, for me, I used to honestly, I lived, I worried what if and I’m sure you do this, too. I have worried if I wasn’t worrying. That’s the other thing. Your brain sometimes says “I’m not worrying about anything, what’s wrong, what’s going to happen?

But also you will get to a point where actually you have no choice but to go. But this universe, I surrender, there’s nothing else I can do. So over to you, I command you to step in, and show me the next best step because I can’t do this anymore. So I would be inclined to ask for a sign. And to say to the angels, “do you know what I need you to come in and help me on this one now. I need you to show me” – or God or whatever or whoever you believe in – To just go, “I need your help, to feel safe to feel happy and to feel successful”. And then there be some conditioning that you’ve heard probably from your childhood or past lives even. Because we do drag this back and again that stuff we can clear with the SRT work I do or point you in the direction of other people because I’m not trying to answer your question here. I’m not trying to flog me stuff.

Now to break it down a bit. You said “things” What are things, the things you’re talking about? explore those what things? What specific things do you want to have get better, write them down? The situation’s what you and then write what then getting better would look like for you. So wonder if things are gonna get any better. So you write down the thing and you write down what it looks like when it’s better. Don’t write the negative, just be like, okay, so if it’s with work, this is what it looks like If it’s better…My dream thing you would be this…

You’re tired of struggling, then stop. quicksand. The more you struggle, the worse it gets. Stop. You feel like you’re stuck in mud. And as soon as you get free and start thriving, everything crashes and you’re pulled back. What is pulling you back?

Who is pulling you back?

Are you stepping back?

Are you falling back?

Are you being dragged back?

Is it old patterns? Is it old thought processes?

And you’re scared to try again this time? Where are you now? Right now as you watch this video?

Are you stuck in the mud? Where are you? You know, are you halfway out? Are you?

Are you like fully up to here? Are you just your feet in? Or are you just looking at that puddle thing and not going near that?

Or are you in a cave hiding because you’re too scared to get out there and do anything, which I totally understand because I promise you I’ve been there. I have a really, really, really, really have and I know that you need the support to get out. And that’s what I’m hoping this video does. I’m hoping this is just giving you a few aha moments that are really going to help you with this.

So like I said in my post, thank you for your honesty and sharing I hope I’ve given you some snippets that are going to help send me a message if you need anything and if you want to explore something further and we can work through it. Okay, you’ll know who you are.

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