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Tag: depression

Knowing Your Fear Profile Can Help you Get rid of Fear FOREVER

Did you know we all have a few profile?

Well, we do.

What is A Fear Profile?

It’s a diagram which shows how we approach, and are affected by fear every single day. It’s a visual representation of what’s in your head and how you feel about fear.

What does knowing my Fear Profile do for me?

When you understand your fear profile, you have. visual reference point to think about which helps you to reframe it and change it. When you’ve seen what your current fear profile is, you can learn to change it.

How do I find out what my Fear Profile is?

Join Neen Forder (that’s me) on my Fear Free in ’23 challenge where we work through my From Fear Back To Love Journal and go through understanding fear, managing fear so you don’t get that awful put of the stomach gripping anymore.

If you don’t believe this is possible, think again. Read my story here and you’ll understand how this can be done.

Neen Forder’s Story of How she went from Fear Back To Love

I did that thing where you wake up at 3am with an idea. I heard loud as anything “you need to use the brand BackToLove for your work” and I realise now it’s in everything I do!

I used to be known by my friends as a worrier, always thinking about the “what ifs” and the worst case scenarios. I promise you, I have managed to move from living in constant fear and worry (I mean worry that grips you and tears your insides apart making you feel like throwing up, convinced everything bad was going to happen, distracted so much with my fears, all day every day) – to feeling hopeful, easy and trusting that we will be ok no matter what.

I almost used to have a mantra that I hated change. I had been brought up hating change, seeing it as a bad thing.  And because I said that all the time, guess what, I DID hate change.

So much that I stayed doing things I didn’t love, working for bosses who bullied me, living in constant fear of not having enough money. I felt trapped because I felt the pressures to work to live and live to work and earn money and do what’s expected.

I have always helped people with various things to help them feel better (from flower remedies, psychic readings, clearing past lives) and have helped so many people through what was sideline business but in 2016 that all changed.

Valentine’s day 2016, I had the most amazing labour which I actively enjoyed because I did hypnobirthing and retrained as a coach, but focused still on the work I felt I had to do, not what I wanted to do. I worked every day trying to run a telemarketing business. Once it was just me, then I got my hubby on board, then I got a team on board as my body kept trying to tell me it was wrong. I developed debilitating asthma, kept losing my voice and the more I tried to work, the worse my health got so I couldn’t work properly at all.

My role in the company changed from me doing all the work and earning a LOT of money, to being the company figurehead.  I was the person saying “hey we love what we do, we are COMPLETELY awesome, and WE ARE GREAT” whilst not being able to actually speak to anyone as my voice had gone and being petrified we’d lose clients. So you can imagine how well that went!

I was too scared to even speak to clients in case they were calling to say they were leaving. Then they DID call to say that. I’d had so many close friends telling me I needed to STOP immediately or I’d burn out. You’d think I’d get the hint right? Again, nope.

My friends tried to remind me I’d joked I was quitting work or at least S L O W I N G down.  But I didn’t, how could I?  I had a family to feed and bills… hubby was unwell too – you can feel that frenzied messed up fear based energy right?  (please breathe and release that!)

I was scared. It was torture. I went so downhill I started to get numb and not even care, because the fear was too much to bear. I grew sicker and sicker, unable to breathe, going to hospital (feeling relieved that someone was looking after me when I was admitted). I spent months in bed watching Netflix because I was so depressed I could not move.

One day I went to the river and stood on the bridge. I was about to climb up onto the railings, I’d had enough, life hurt, I felt like a failure.  But I felt my Spirit Guide grab me and pull me back. He kept telling me it would get better. I trusted him. I saw the face of my son and knew I had to stay.

I had one friend (who is NEVER dramatic) call me and beg me to cancel a flight for business because she felt I wasn’t well. I look at the pictures now and I can see I really wasn’t but I was trying to fake it. So I changed that meeting to a zoom call and within 1 hour of having the call I came down with (pretty much Covid) back in 2019 for MONTHS.

I thought it was the worst thing ever, but turned out to be the best. Because at the end of my illness, hubby told me that our business needed to close and he was in bits.

Me? I felt RELEIEF!  I could finally say to the Universe:

“I’m done. I can’t do any more to make my life work. It’s over to you. I’m trusting you to sort this out because I’ve got nothing left to give”

I’d dealt with a lot that year; both my parents had cancer, I lost 5 elderly cats in 18 months and my business died, I was expecting a baby and had an older son, with no idea of how to make it work. I had my son and then 2 weeks later we went into lockdown. There was no work. For anyone. I felt relief again – the pressure was off. I could be a Mum. I could just relax. Nobody could work, and there was help in place. And I wasn’t alone either. That made me feel better, the fact I wasn’t alone. You are not alone either.

My hubby carried on trying to make the business work in a different way then one day cried, saying he was working so hard and we weren’t making any money. I told him to just stop and focus his attention on his passions, because if he was not making any money he may as well do something that he loved – castles – and he did.

A couple of months later he’s writing articles and being involved in helping someone with a Castle renovations project, and I am able to spend my spare time focusing on helping people come through all the rubbish I’ve been through, to feel empowered and safe.

On those days I don’t feel the love for life and all the external “stuff” seems too much, I remind myself that I can get through it and I start to feel grateful that I know how to work through these crappy feelings of insecurity (usually a bedfellow of fear) and unworthiness (also a bedfellow, with a bit of lack of control thrown in to spice it up).

You see, I have been there. And now I know how to make sure I don’t go too deep into the hole when it appears at me.

Are you ready to commit to the same for yourself and find the tools to help you cope better with your fears too?

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